(no subject)

[Filter: Private]

Never gets easier, being without her.

Sometimes ... eh. Silly thoughts, when I've got more than enough left to do alive, but sometimes, I wonder if it wouldn't have been better to have not lived so long. Like ... like how it's looking to work out for Stephen. He'll go, and his girl will follow him in a year or more, maybe a bit longer. No time to be lonely and wonder how you get through it without one another.

I'm glad to be alive. Who wouldn't be? I'm not a doddering old man with my life all behind me and nothing to do with myself. But ... I'd be a lot gladder, if I had her here with me.

Stevie probably doesn't have much longer. Poor thing. ... gets me thinking about everything I could have done differently with him, and with the rest of them. Fenea was better with them than I ever was. Heh. For having so many children, I never was a good father. I even encouraged them bickering with each other, the bitterness over succession, the --

... huh.

There's a thought.

[Filter: Devine]

Had an idea, boy.