Alive!

[Filter: Private]

There's an old saying. It says that a parent should never bury their own child. It's not natural. Children burying parents, brothers burying sisters, husbands burying wives, that's all sad and tragic and awful, but a father burying his son is wrong.

It felt it.

... I wasn't a good father to the boy. I know it. I've known it all along. It was one thing when he was young and Fenea was alive and I was a new father and the world was full of possibility. It was easy, then. I think I did a good job. At least, I didn't think I did a poor one.

But when she was gone ...

Eh.

It's too late to be looking back and thinking about things I could have done different. A lot changed after I lost Fenea. A hell of a lot. Everything changed, I changed, and part of that was becoming a bad father. Out of all the things I could have changed, well ... Dragons, it's a list long than I am tall, these days. And by the time I thought I might want to regret it, well ...

Still.

I could have visited him more, at the end. I could have done that. And I might have apologized, too, for what a poor excuse for a father I've been for most of his life. That would have been the right thing. I could have spent some time remembering his mother with him. I could have involved him in what's been going on, here. Maybe I could even have talked to him about Devine. Asked his advice. Dragons know, he was a better grandfather than I know how to be. Heh. I would have killed him right then, though, if I had. Me, asking his advice. Heh. Poor Stevie. What would he even have said?

I'm too old to start fixing old mistakes. It gets harder and harder to do that, the older you get, and I'm too damn old to regret that, either. I've lived long enough I don't want to do things that are hard. I do enough of that. I do more than enough.

But I'm not too old to wish I'd done things different. Wish things could have been different. That just gets easier the more time goes on.

Feh.

[Filter: Benedette]

Well, girl. I just finally got a letter from your father. He's taken his time getting back to me. He's had a lot to think about. Something the two of you have in common, I'd think.

He's made an interesting offer. Are you curious?

[Filter: Lord Leon]

I'm only going to say this once, boy, so listen close.

It's starting to look to me like you might be some trouble, and we've got troubles enough of our own in Rhia right now. We don't have any room for yours. That's all I'm going to say, but you'd best be gone from this place by the end of tomorrow, or there'll be more to say than that.

Do you understand me?

[Filter: Private]

Feh.

All this worrying makes it hard to celebrate. I can't say I like it, much. It was my ninety-fourth birthday, and I barely could focus on it. When was the last time that's happened? ... since Fenea first got sick, and the year after that, I think.

I'm not good at this. Always did better for myself when I cut that whole thing out of my life.

Wish whoever is targetting Devine would just make a move, already. It could be one thing off my plate. And the other problem ...

Well, I wish that one will never resolve itself. There's only one way Stephan's predicament will end, and I know it.

[Filter: Hayden]

... how's your father doing, boy?

[Filter: Private]

Sometimes ... you need to bait them and draw them out. Fine, then. Let's play that way.

[Filter: Public]

Devine.

I miss a good game of chess.

[Filter: Devine]

Something is going on. I don't know who is all involved, but I think I know how to find out.

That girl, Clarice, she's in on it, somehow. I know that much for sure. I asked her a few questions, played nice grandfather. She's not a great actor. She knows something and she's scared I'm going to find it out. She wouldn't be a tough nut to crack, but I suspect everyone else involved will only use her a scapegoat if I did.

Starting to eye her husband a bit. Never did like that boy.

[Filter: Hayden]

... so. I hear that little cold your father has might be worse than I thought. They're saying it might being looking bad, around here. Seems it's all most people are talking about, lately.

Is it true?

[Filter: Lorcan]

Got another curiousity for you to look into me, boy.

[Filter: Benedette]

You and I haven't exactly had time to exchange many words, since my great-grandson's proposal, now have we?

[Filter: Private]

Only one way to know if he's genuine.

[Filter: Devine]

I've been thinking about our little conversation at the end of last month. You admitting what you did wrong, and being a man about it.